Wednesday, August 1, 2007

8 Strangest Communities On Web

Every once in a while you'll stumble upon a forum or an online community that is so specific, so insane, so completely ridiculous that you are forced to conclude that you have reached the end of the Internet. Sure, you may continue on your merry clicking way, but you do so with the deep-seated feeling that there is nowhere else to look; you have seen everything the Internet could possibly hope to provide. Here are the eight online communities that killed our adventurous spirit, made us sure that we'd seen everything the online world has to offer, and even more certain that we didn't want to try to find anything more depressingly fascinating.

What it is
A place for people who really, really like to chew ice.

Excerpt that Sums Up the Community In A Nutshell

Subject: Newbie - A Chewer for Almost 10 Years

Hey all,

I randomly found this forum and I think it's comforting, in a way, to see so many people who eat ice as much as I do. I started when I was 14, just crunching on huge cubes straight from the tray. People commented on my strong teeth & jaws. Razz From there I downsized to more manageable-sized cubes, and softer ones, too (like crushed ice). I found ice would/can be a good replacement for crunchy food like chips and pretzels, and I tend to resort to a tall glass of ice after a big meal. My teeth have taken a battering from it (I don't tell my dentist I chomp cubes) but I plan on getting crowns on a few fillings that have chipped away...and then abstaining from ice. It's my only bad habit (don't smoke, don't do drugs, etc) but...it's hard to quit!

Why It Makes Us Uncomfortable
We like ice as much as anyone else, but c'mon. It's ice. Going by Bob Saget's standard for addiction in Half Baked—which states that you must have sucked dick for your coveted good—ice is probably the least addictive thing out there. If you've ever sucked dick for ice, we're pretty sure that means you just really wanted to suck that dick. Just go order a soda. We can almost guarantee you there'll be some ice in there.

It doesn't even really taste like anything, anyway—but don't tell them that.

#7.Men's Long Hair Hyperboard (mlhh.org)


What it is
A "hyperboard" (how old is this site, anyway?) for men to discuss growing, washing, brushing, and wearing long, luxurious locks. Many of the posts take on a defiant tone and mention things like "fighting the good fight," which, we assume, means not getting a haircut.

Excerpt that Sums Up the Community In A Nutshell

Subject: Dry hair - I need your help!

Hello all,

i have a big problem. My hair look shiny and pretty healthy but... when I touch it , it feel darmaticaly DRY ! especialy on the end.

i have tried many things but didn't worked...

here is my routine:

gently brushing my hair before washing it -> baby shampoo (that must'nt be hard wuth hair right ?) -> a lot of conditioner -> cold rinse -> towel dry a bit -> hair dry.

once dry i put a small amount of olive oil in my hair and i gently finger comb and brush my hair gently.

You who have soft hair please help me :(

Why It Makes Us Uncomfortable
There is something just a little off about these guys and their fixation on growing their hair out. To make things worse, they seem to see themselves as waging some sort of imaginary war against a sea of "squares" (read: people who don't rock long hair) who, in all honesty, couldn't care less about these dudes or their immaculately-maintained manes. Plus, does anyone really associate long hair on guys with rebellion anymore? Usually it just means they work at Guitar Center.

#6.4chan's "Random Image Board" (img.4chan.org/b/imgboard.html)


What it is
We honestly have no fucking clue. All we know is that it has a lot of weird anime porn on it and everyone who posts on it types in all caps and makes absolutely no sense.

Excerpt that Sums Up the Community In A Nutshell

FirstPostGuy:

SO YEAH, SOMEONE MADE THIS ABOUT ME. DO YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT THIS? NO? THATS RIGHT YOU DON'T. YOU DON'T KNOW SHIT. I MEAN, IT'S SUPPOSED TO INSULT ME BUT LISTEN, THERE IS NO (FUCK I WISH I COULD CAPS LOCK THAT BUT I AM ALREADY IN MAXIMUM CAPS LOCK) SUCH THING AS BAD PUBLICITY. I AM FAMOSE. THAT'S RIGHT. FAMOSE. YOU NOOBS SHOULD ALL TAKE TRIPCODES AND SEE IF YOU CAN BECOME MORE FAMOSE THAN ME. YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU CAN'T. THAT'S RIGHT. BECAUSE I'M THE FUCKING EPIC FIRST POST GUY. I TAKE FIRST POSTS. I TAKE FIRST POSTS SO FAST YOUR MOMMA IS A HOE. TRY BEAT ME, I CHALLENGE YOU. ALSO, FUCK ANONYMOUS. TRIPCODEPWNERERS FTW.

Why It Makes Us Uncomfortable
Apparently pretty much every internet meme ever was started on 4chan, including such gems as the "O RLY?" owl and LOLCats of various shapes and sizes. And that makes us uncomfortable. Why? Because we're pretty sure that being exposed to stuff that was spawned from the incomprehensible gibberish that is 4chan is part of an internet wide conspiracy to make us all stupider.

#5.Second Life (secondlife.com)


What it is
A free MMORPG that has no point whatsoever.

Excerpt that Sums Up the Community In A Nutshell

Second Life promotes creativity in its users by encouraging them to build their own items using an in-game programming language, to start businesses by buying land and developing properties on it, to work collaboratively with other players to thrive.

Sounds good in theory, but for some reason the reality of it usually involves a lot more virtual strip clubs, S&M parlors, and casinos. Oh - and a lot more furries.

Why It Makes Us Uncomfortable
Linden Labs, the company that makes Second Life, likes to brag about its membership numbers. In reality, the actual number of active players is always much, much lower than the sum total of all registered users. That means that people create an account, build a house for their in-game avatar to masturbate in, and then they stop playing and never come back. What does that mean for you, the curious, newbie player? It means that walking around Second Life is like walking around in some weird, virtual post-apocalyptic zombie movie, only instead of encountering zombies, you occasionally stumble across some dude dressed up like a mechanical teddy bear having sex with a giant cat.
Posted by Ajay :: 10:02 AM :: 0 comments

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