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Monday, April 28, 2008

What's Relationship Between Eating And Death...?

After eighteen years of ongoing research, these scientists believe they are on the brink of finally discovering the strange, yet apparent relationship between eating and death.

“We believe we are truly at the height of enlightenment in Australia,” said top research analysis Dr. Molly Moran who attended the University several years prior, “I’ve talked to my dad, a professor and researcher in the states. He believes that we are not only about to answer, but uncover the reason why people die.”

Other researchers nestled closely to the study have announced that Stage One of their research is complete. After studying mice, tarantulas and timid woodland creatures in the Outback, along with observing Homo Sapiens in several different countries, they have concluded that 99.997533% of all things that eat will die.

This unbelievable correlation has been thrown into the faces of Harvard Medical School’s ongoing study of twelve years. They’ve been trying to distinguish the opposite—that not eating causes death. They believe, according to their recently published reports, that not eating leads to “starvation,” where the body cannot support its own self, as there is no incoming or reusable energy source available for brain activity and organ function.

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