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Tuesday, June 19, 2007Parents Myth
Here are a few items that every pre-parent or misguided parent should know. Sorry Mom and Dad.
Parents love their children equally
Bottom line, one kid is always going to be better than the others for some unknown, visceral reason. Either because they were the first or have more personality or they are smarter than the others. Parents also like the child that physically resembles them. I’m not saying it is a whole lot of difference in the amount of love, but that deep in the back of their minds, parents all ready have their “Sophie’s Choice” made up. If you are an only child, congrats. If you are adopted, you are screwed.
Parents check in to see how their child is sleeping
Parents “check in” on their kids every so often during nap or night time. As an outsider, you think that it is simply to see how the child is doing and is an act of love. In actuality, it is to see if the kid is dead or not breathing. The relief gained from having a not-dead child is priceless.
Having two kids is twice as hard as having one kid
Completely wrong. Here is the math:
-Having one child is like having one child
-Having two children is like having four children
-Having three kids is like having five kids
-Having four kids is like having two kids.
The complexity going from one kid to two is that you, as a parental team, have shared the responsibility of taking care of one kid. Once you have two, that whole little unwritten sharing contract is out the door. You now must put out 4 times the effort to manage the two kids. Once you have three kids, the ratio starts to go down. Four kids might as well be none. If you have five kids, obviously the other wives can help to take care of all the little darlings.
Scientific studies say that sugar actually does not make your child hyper
Hell yes sugar makes your kid hyper. I don’t care what scientific studies say. Not only does it make them hyper, it makes them pre-hyper. If kids know about the existence of candy, which they do, they will desire it. Because kids only know about eating and crapping, that candy will fill 90% of their reality. And their reality will be jumping up and down and screaming. They want it and that’s it. Once you give it to them, they want more. If you deny it, they will kid bitch and kid bitching sucks.
My child is advanced
Every parent believes that their kid is somehow smarter than other kids and they will share this information with you. Wrong. Your child is just as stupid as the rest. Kids are only as smart as you let them be. I suggest a daily round of brow beatings to drop of heavy load of self doubt on your kid. Self doubters work harder and make more money to take care of you later in life. Unless your little Einstein is reading and writing at age four, go sit down. If they are reading and writing at age four, my kid with low self esteem is going to beat them up.
Having kids ruins your sex life
Ok, you’ve got me on this one.
Three-century-old manuscripts by Isaac Newton calculating the exact date of the apocalypse, detailing the precise dimensions of the ancient temple in Jerusalem and interpreting passages of the Bible -- exhibited this week for the first time -- lay bare the little-known religious intensity of a man many consider history's greatest scientist.
Newton, who died 280 years ago, is known for laying much of the groundwork for modern physics, astronomy, math and optics. But in a new Jerusalem exhibit, he appears as a scholar of deep faith who also found time to write on Jewish law -- even penning a few phrases in careful Hebrew letters -- and combing the Old Testament's Book of Daniel for clues about the world's end.
The documents, purchased by a Jewish scholar at a Sotheby's auction in London in 1936, have been kept in safes at Israel's national library in Jerusalem since 1969. Available for decades only to a small number of scholars, they have never before been shown to the public.
In one manuscript from the early 1700s, Newton used the cryptic Book of Daniel to calculate the date for the apocalypse, reaching the conclusion that the world would end no earlier than 2060.
"It may end later, but I see no reason for its ending sooner," Newton wrote. However, he added, "This I mention not to assert when the time of the end shall be, but to put a stop to the rash conjectures of fanciful men who are frequently predicting the time of the end, and by doing so bring the sacred prophesies into discredit as often as their predictions fail."
In another document, Newton interpreted biblical prophecies to mean that the Jews would return to the Holy Land before the world ends. The end of days will see "the ruin of the wicked nations, the end of weeping and of all troubles, the return of the Jews captivity and their setting up a flourishing and everlasting Kingdom," he posited.
The exhibit also includes treatises on daily practice in the Jewish temple in Jerusalem. In one document, Newton discussed the exact dimensions of the temple -- its plans mirrored the arrangement of the cosmos, he believed -- and sketched it. Another paper contains words in Hebrew, including a sentence taken from the Jewish prayerbook.
Yemima Ben-Menahem, one of the exhibit's curators, said the papers show Newton's conviction that important knowledge was hiding in ancient texts.
"He believed there was wisdom in the world that got lost. He thought it was coded, and that by studying things like the dimensions of the temple, he could decode it," she said.
The Newton papers, Ben-Menahem said, also complicate the idea that science is diametrically opposed to religion. "These documents show a scientist guided by religious fervor, by a desire to see God's actions in the world," she said.
More prosaic documents on display show Newton keeping track of his income and expenses while a scholar at Cambridge and later, as master of the Royal Mint, negotiating with a group of miners from Devon and Cornwall about the price of the tin they supplied to Queen Anne.
The archives of Hebrew University in Jerusalem include a 1940 letter from Albert Einstein to Abraham Shalom Yahuda, the collector who purchased the papers a year earlier.
Newton's religious writings, Einstein wrote, provide "a variety of sketches and ongoing changes that give us a most interesting look into the mental laboratory of this unique thinker."
It was an hour before midnight, three hours into the night shift with nine more to go. At his workstation in a small, fluorescent-lighted office space in Nanjing, China, Li Qiwen sat shirtless and chain-smoking, gazing purposefully at the online computer game in front of him. The screen showed a lightly wooded mountain terrain, studded with castle ruins and grazing deer, in which warrior monks milled about. Li, or rather his staff-wielding wizard character, had been slaying the enemy monks since 8 p.m., mouse-clicking on one corpse after another, each time gathering a few dozen virtual coins — and maybe a magic weapon or two — into an increasingly laden backpack.
The Wizards of Warcraft Twelve hours a night, seven nights a week, with only two or three nights off per month, this is what Li does — for a living. On this summer night in 2006, the game on his screen was, as always, World of Warcraft, an online fantasy title in which players, in the guise of self-created avatars — night-elf wizards, warrior orcs and other Tolkienesque characters — battle their way through the mythical realm of Azeroth, earning points for every monster slain and rising, over many months, from the game’s lowest level of death-dealing power (1) to the highest (70). More than eight million people around the world play World of Warcraft — approximately one in every thousand on the planet — and whenever Li is logged on, thousands of other players are, too. They share the game’s vast, virtual world with him, converging in its towns to trade their loot or turning up from time to time in Li’s own wooded corner of it, looking for enemies to kill and coins to gather. Every World of Warcraft player needs those coins, and mostly for one reason: to pay for the virtual gear to fight the monsters to earn the points to reach the next level. And there are only two ways players can get as much of this virtual money as the game requires: they can spend hours collecting it or they can pay someone real money to do it for them.
At the end of each shift, Li reports the night’s haul to his supervisor, and at the end of the week, he, like his nine co-workers, will be paid in full. For every 100 gold coins he gathers, Li makes 10 yuan, or about $1.25, earning an effective wage of 30 cents an hour, more or less. The boss, in turn, receives $3 or more when he sells those same coins to an online retailer, who will sell them to the final customer (an American or European player) for as much as $20. The small commercial space Li and his colleagues work in — two rooms, one for the workers and another for the supervisor — along with a rudimentary workers’ dorm, a half-hour’s bus ride away, are the entire physical plant of this modest $80,000-a-year business. It is estimated that there are thousands of businesses like it all over China, neither owned nor operated by the game companies from which they make their money. Collectively they employ an estimated 100,000 workers, who produce the bulk of all the goods in what has become a $1.8 billion worldwide trade in virtual items. The polite name for these operations is youxi gongzuoshi, or gaming workshops, but to gamers throughout the world, they are better known as gold farms. While the Internet has produced some strange new job descriptions over the years, it is hard to think of any more surreal than that of the Chinese gold farmer.
The market for massively multiplayer online role-playing games, known as M.M.O.’s, is a fast-growing one, with no fewer than 80 current titles and many more under development, all targeted at a player population that totals around 30 million worldwide. World of Warcraft, produced in Irvine, Calif., by Blizzard Entertainment, is one of the most profitable computer games in history, earning close to $1 billion a year in monthly subscriptions and other revenue. In a typical M.M.O., as in a classic predigital role-playing game like Dungeons & Dragons, each player leads his fantasy character on a life of combat and adventure that may last for months or even years of play. As has also been true since D. & D., however, the romance of this imaginary life stands in sharp contrast to the plodding, mathematical precision with which it proceeds.
A middle school teacher in Prescott, Wis. has been fired and the Pierce County Sheriff is investigating claims she had sex with a 13-year-old student.
"It's just shocking to hit Prescott like this," said Tom Riley a Prescott resident.
The 38-year-old woman was a substitute at Prescott Middle School.
The student's father said he found the two having a middle of the night rendezvous together at the teacher's home after the boy stole his mother's car.
Sources said the woman's husband and 13-year-old daughter were home at the time.
The father filed a restraining order which claims the two had sexual intercourse. He said he has copies of e-mails between the two.
Zach Simones, who coached the 13-year-old boy on the seventh grade football team, said he is sickened by the incident.
"He was dating the lady's 13-year-old daughter before this happened," said Simones.
The woman taught at both the middle and high schools, but the superintendent said his investigation has turned up no other students who were involved with this woman.
The school superintendent also said the teacher and student did not meet in the classroom.
The Pierce County Sheriff confirms that they are investigating.