Tuesday, August 7, 2007

WHY SHE KEEP LAPTOP IN THE OVEN?

Sometimes life is like the movies: just when you think the world is going end, a deus ex machina steps in and magically everything is okay.

Today I come rushing home because it's the end of the semester and I have finals coming up and I need to write two papers tonight so that I can go camping this holiday weekend with peace of mind so I get home and GIL says, hey honey, you're just in time! I'm cooking french fries!

Oh that's good, I say, because I haven't eaten yet and I have all this work to do. Let me just put my bike away. I walk into the kitchen and notice my computer's not on the kitchen table. Which. Means. It's.... oh, SHIT!!!!

I open the over door. No fries. Just one miserable looking laptop. (STOP: EXPLANATION OF WHY I KEEP MY LAPTOP IN THE OVEN: I keep it there because I live in a high crime area in a house with windows that don't even lock. I figure the oven's actually a very safe place. Who would think to look there for valuables? and if the house burns down the computer'd be okay. The system worked just fine when I was living alone.)

My screams cause GIL to drop his book and come running.

I accomplish all of the following in under 3.8 minutes:

rant
rave
think of all the data I lost in addition to the machine itself
wonder how I'll get my papers done
cry
hate myself for thinking the oven would be a good storage place
hate GIL for not remembering that I keep it in there (I told him TWICE! you'd THINK he'd remember something like that!)
fall to the floor beating my fists on my legs
pace the room
plan how to get a new laptop before the end of the semester even though both of us are so broke we can't even buy enough groceries to get us through the month
resolve not to permanently ruin GIL's relationship with my parents by telling them that he cooked the laptop they gave me for Christmas
yell at myself
yell at GIL
cancel our weekend plans
It's 2:30 in the afternoon. I just got home from class have tons of work to do before we leave for the Thanksgiving holiday and I nearly lost my computer. It was cooked. In the oven. At roughly 300 degrees. For about five minutes.

Here's what it looks like:

But the story's not over. I'm happy to report that I am not typing this from my boyfriend's computer.

I'm working from the melted laptop you see above. When we set it on the table to inspect the damage and noticed that the little green light was flashing. We pressed the button. Welcome, it says. Then it starts Windows. We breath a sigh of relief until it goes to a black screen and displays the following message:

"Your computer powered off because it overheated. This may be caused by... [list of a number of things I don't remember just that oven cooking was not one of them]. Please wait while we readjust your settings". Then the desktop appeared and it was back. It even found the wireless signal and connected.

Can you believe it? IT'S FINE!!! The thing is completly fine! Apparently, for as awful as it looks, the only melted thing is the casing. I'm told we could just buy a new case for it.

I have never felt such raw, pure emotions as I felt then. When you literally feel all the cliches associated with a particular feeling. A flood of relief swept over me. I felt weak at the knees. I think I am still shaking.
Posted by Ajay :: 9:59 AM :: 0 comments

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