Saturday, August 18, 2007

Dead Mother Want To Live With Her Son

Kavita and her parents had a mystery and a disturbing one at that, on their hands. Kavita, and a little later, her mother, had distinctly heard Kavita’s father’s voice calling out from the bathroom when he was actually fast asleep. And then, both Kavita and her mother had seen Kavita’s father enter, but it had obviously not been him. A big and frightening question arose in their minds as realisations struck home: who was it who had entered the house and gone to the bathroom and where was he now? What was happening? First the voice, and then a figure… It is known of course that spirits can change either their voice or their form, or both. There are many stories on record where a beautiful young girl or a frail old person who appears to be in distress has lured unwary travellers or those out for a walk to a deserted spot and then changed form, much to their shock.

The purpose of the change of voice or form differs from case to case, but can broadly be placed in two categories: one, a good, valid purpose and two, a seemingly pointless unpleasant experience. But in the case of Kavita’s family, it was the first time in my experience of haunted homes that I was encountering a replication of both voice and form inside an urban house. Who was it and why was it happening? It was important to find out, both for the peace of Kavita’s family and for the soul of the ghost as there was little doubt that one was dealing with an apparition. The moment one advanced towards the rear of their house where the bathroom from which the voice had emanated and into which the form had disappeared, one could feel a palpable presence. It proved to be easier than in many other cases to establish communication with the mystery "voice and form" in Kavita’s home, partly because the "presence" was that of a good soul. When trying to open or maintain a dialogue with an evil spirit or a lower or not too evolved form, it is often a convoluted and at times a dangerous undertaking. But Kavita and her parents were lucky: the mystery voice and form belonged to a family member who had been loved and revered to an almost extraordinary degree when alive. Kavita’s father, Ravinder (not his real name), revealed that his father had "died barely two months after I was born. My mother, Sukhvinder (not her real name), brought me up almost single-handedly and that is a story of great courage that still moves me tremendously… the sacrifices she made for me — I still choke thinking back and recalling those years. Once I got married, my wife and I tried to do all that we could for my mother, who was ailing by that time. Unfortunately, her ailment was diagnosed as cancer and it was in the final stage by the time it was discovered. We, and my wife particularly, gave her love, care, everything that was possible but we knew it was a losing battle. In the last month, my mother’s pain and suffering became so great, we couldn’t cope and felt we were failing her though doctors assured us nothing more could be done. Then somebody told us about Shanti Avedna, a hospice for terminal cancer patients, and that’s where we took her. She didn’t want to go, but it was a good decision to take her there because she received the kind of expert care, cushioned in a compassionate, understanding approach that we would not have been able to provide despite our best efforts. Her agonised suffering which we couldn’t bear to see was definitely greatly reduced. It was at Shanti Avedna that she breathed her last — that was many years ago but it seems just like yesterday…"

After her death, Ravinder’s mother’s soul was naturally relieved to leave a body that had been causing so much physical pain. And while she was happy and grateful for all the special care and attention she had received when she was so ill and helpless, there was one factor that was interfering with her peace: the fact that she hadn’t died at home. Her home, though modest, had meant so much to her because that was where she had spent the happiest period of her life, it had been the home of her husband whom she loved so much but lost early, it was the home where she had conceived Ravinder… She knew of course that being taken to Shanti Avedna has been the best course under the circumstances, but the restlessness at not dying in her own home persisted and that’s what had brought her back to earth, to her old home, to Ravinder and his wife and daughter. And because her physical body had been so ravaged by cancer by the time she died, she found it difficult to manifest in her own form, which is shy she had appeared in Ravinder’s form and spoken in his voice — he was her son, had been part of her body and besides they had been and were still emotionally and spiritually close and therefore assuming his voice and form was not a complicated process.

However, having returned successfully to her old home, what she now wanted was certainly complicated. Because it was not just her attachment to her old home that had brought her back. Equally strong was the attachment to Ravinder and the fact that she had been unable to establish contact with her husband in the spirit world, perhaps because he had been reborn.

Whatever the reason, her desire now was to stay as part of Ravinder’s family and leave along with Ravinder when the time would come for him to leave earth.

Kavita was too young to understand all this fully but the situation left both Ravinder and his wife non-plussed. It was one thing to be living with your mother in human form but quite another to do so when someone, no matter how dear to one, was in spirit form. Was it natural? Would they not be interfering with the life-death traditions, norms, whatever? What would it entail? What effect would it have on their minds and current lives, particularly that of Kavita who was at a very impressionable age? And what would happen in after life? All these were very pertinent questions. And yet, Ravinder, ever the caring son, didn’t want to hurt his beloved mother in any way. He said, "She suffered a lot in her life time, I don’t want her to suffer in any way in her spirit form. In the end it boils down to this: she has come back to her old home, to me — her son, out of a deep love and bonding. How can I ask her to leave…? How can I tell her, ‘mother, you were fine in a physical form, but your spirit form is raising question marks’... after all, it is the spirit form that is supposed to be enduring and the physical form transitory." The above are all very serious questions and considerations. Ravinder and his wife are, to put it mildly, in a quandary.

Supposing they agree to the arrangement, there could, on the basis of what has already passed be considerable confusion at a practical level. How? Unable to manifest in her own form, Ravinder’s mother would obviously use his voice and form leading once again to duplication of voices and forms and the various results and effects flowing from two entities — one human, one spirit — using the same voice and form can be imagined. Is there a solution to this complicated, almost bizarre — even in spirit terms — situation?

Besides seeking guidance from my spirit guides, I have suggested that Ravinder and his wife consult a very wise Tibetan monk I have the good fortune and privilege to know in Dehra Dun. We’ll have to wait and see what advice Ravinder and his wife receive and what decision they take finally.

One thing is clear: the life-death "divide" as it is called is not always a divide and links can remain unbroken not just after death but even long after death.
Posted by Ajay :: 11:41 AM :: 0 comments

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