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Interesting Findings And World Unfolding Through My Eyes.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Naked Olympics?

One of the many important life lessons we have learned from “Seinfeld” is that, contrary to popular belief, not all nudity is good nudity. I was reminded of this recently when my thoughts drifted towards the impending orgy of corporate branding known to the less cynical as the Olympic Games. Even if you remove the distasteful whore-mongering of amateur athletes, the Games have lost most of their relevance and allure they once had… remember when you and the folks gathered around the TV set to watch gymnastics? This compelled me to think of ways of making the events more entertaining. Without hesitation, the answer slipped into my head like a stripper down a pole; the magic elixir the Olympics so desperately need is that which turns even the dullest of ventures into a mesmerizing event.

While the notion of an all-nude Olympiad may seem far-fetched, let’s not forget the original Olympics included male athletes that rolled around naked with other men so often they would have made Richard Simmons look like Rambo (although these days the two are looking an awful lot alike anyways). Due to the fact that roughly 98% of the readers, including myself, would rather watch an 18-hour Golden Girls marathon than see naked dudes in action, this exercise will focus entirely on events featuring those of the feminine persuasion. But let’s get this straight; the purpose of this article is not only to breakdown which events contain good nudity versus bad nudity, but more importantly to reveal which spandex-free endeavors would be the cream (so to speak) of the crop…were they to exist. I also hope to smash the record for most euphemisms for vagina in one article. Here goes nothin’.
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Posted by Ajay :: 9:13 AM :: 0 comments

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